"I’m in love with you"
Me: ghalat kardi
like to people who are trying to learn Japanese or whatever like its undeniable that you want to learn it because you have an interest in the culture and its almost 90% through the window of mainstream media like lit/music/movies idk why people try to deny it like “no im learning japanese because i thought it would be interesting” like naaah you became obsessed with japanese things because you are a big fat weeab and watch anime on you ass from sun up to sun down
You’re not being silly and you should definitely not feel guilty. Femininity is conditioned, you are not individually responsible for it. The point isn’t that you should not participate in all things that are coded as feminine- *some* things associated with femininity are neutral (such as long hair).
I don’t think there’s a prescriptive solution that can work for challenging compulsory femininity. Let’s face it, you are likely to be punished in some way if you do not to adhere to femininity (i.e. harassment, stigma, facing increased racism & racial stereotypes, discrimination in employment, being viewed as incompetent, unprofessional, etc.). It’s not something all women can afford to do.
It is not easy to know what is “authentic” (for lack of a better word) and what you have been pushed in to. It’s a process where you keep questioning your behaviours; they way you move your body, wearing certain clothes, the fact that you are required to spend so much time and effort trying to be beautiful and so on and you’ll realise “i am required to spend money on this and it’s bullshit”, “this is not me”, “i don’t feel free”. It’s continuing, there’s no one big realisation. But, you can hold onto those observations and see that they fit into a larger truth- femininity is not natural for women. Women who don’t conform to femininity or women who are gender non-conforming are not abnormal or lesser women. You didn’t get to be the ‘you’ you could be if you were free from gender expectations. And with these truths you can challenge this & you can find support from other women.
Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition and common sense. A woman can have all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel. - Natalie Dormer